Sunday, Neal and I went to church! My mom watched Beckett so we got to go. We took Emerson because she fell asleep in her carseat. I really do love going to church. Father R. had a very touching homily as he usually does. He reflected on September 11th - about a wife who lost her husband and how all she wanted was for God to please let her hear his voice one more time. After the funeral she was clearing out voicemails and after the fourth one she came to one of her husband reminding her to pay the car insurance so it wouldn't be late. And she wept.
So of course I started crying. And as I started crying Emerson woke up and started crying so she and I left in the middle of the homily crying....
Luckily we were the only ones in the bathroom so we dried up our tears and did a lap around the commons before heading back in to mass.
The rest of the hour and 15 minutes I spent cuddled up to Neal and thinking about what would I do if I lost him. When we got in the car I said I just could not imagine losing him and I would be such a mess I don't think I would ever get over it and move on.
He told me, Libby - you would have to. You could not be a nut job in front of our kids. You would have to suck it up for them.
I get it. And I really would try so hard. But I am sooooooo emotional I just don't know if I could!!!! Thank (you) God I haven't had to find that out yet and hope I neverrrr will.
So, I am just taking a moment tonight to pray for all of those who suffered from that tragic day and to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I am thankful for all of the men and women who serve our country and fight for our freedom. I am humbled by the spouses who lost their significant others and continue to get up out of bed and smile for their children.
Neal, Beckett and Emerson ~ I love, love, love all three of you so much my heart feels like it could rip open and a million confetti hearts would fly out of it and I am beyond grateful to be here with you each and every single day.
<3
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