Thursday, March 29, 2012

My balls

What a morning!!!

Poor Emerson woke up at 3:30 coughing, coughing, and could not stop coughing.
I could BARELY open my eyes at 3:30 - they were so dry and swollen from crying so much yesterday...

But, I am a mom so I do what I do and trudge on - throw my legs over the bed, pick up E, and start rocking.  We talk, laugh, play, giggle, feed her, rock her, take her temperature etc.  She does NOT want me to put her down but finally around 6 am she fell back asleep with a little fussing.

Realizing my bebe is not well I had to quick do sub plans and get those emailed off. Thanks to the best team ever for getting everything ready for the substitute!

Around 6:30 I think...maybe I could lay back down - after all this is the 3rd night this week I have gotten 4 hours of sleep...or less.  (If anyone that does not have children EVER says in my presence that you are tired I will haul off and slap you silly because you have NO CLUE what being tired is.)

Back to my's 6:30 ... I want to lay down but I hear moaning upstairs...coming from Beckett's room.  He is moaning like a zombie with a crackly voice "my balls, my balls, my balls...."

OH DEAR LORD I thought - I am exhausted but I go check on bebe number 1.  I open his door, turn on the light, honestly I am a little worried - WHAT is he talking about...  I just can't take 2 sick kids today!!!

Beckett is completely submerged under the covers - he doesn't even know I'm in the room and the lights are on.

I quick pull back his blanky so I can make sure he is breathing while he's moaning this crazy nonsense about balls...and ah.  There it his hands, under his covers...his balls.

A basketball and a soccer ball.  One in each hand.  Two balls.  His balls.  Makes sense now.

So he jumps up, gives me a big smile and says "balls momma!!!" He then hands them to me and we go downstairs and play.  :)

Beckett and Daddy are at school/work for the day and Emerson and I are home snuggling and cleaning up projectile vomit and snot.

Can I just say that I love my little girl and my little boy SO much???  I love that I get to play girly things like dolls with E and I love that I get to play boyish things with B---like balls. :) What a blessed mommy I am..snot, vomit, no sleep, balls and all.

~xo Libby

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Dear Cancer, I hate you.

God has a plan for all of us. I get that. We are all here for some reason. I believe in the "bigger picture".

But why, why does this have to entail losing a mother, a friend, a wife, a daughter?

When I got to school at 7 am this morning I had no idea of the devastating, punch to the stomach blow, news that I was going to hear. 

One of my sweet, dear past students....a girl I have come to love as my own and taught for 2 years....her mother passed away this morning.  She had been battling cancer for 2 years and 1 month. Now she's gone...gone from earth but NEVER from our hearts, minds, souls, thoughts....I just can't believe it. 

I am still in shock. 

I have not suffered loss really in my life - very fortunate in that matter. My great grandmother passed away and lived a wonderful life. My cat Saber passed away - again long and great life.  My dad's dad passed away and even though I only met him once he still had a long(er) life. 

But this woman - was taken from her kids too soon...too soon. Everytime I even thought of her name, her face, her daughter's face, her daughter's name, her son's face, her son's name .... I absolutely lost it - started bawling - had to excuse myself from teaching.  

My own daughter was sick today and I had to leave early from school to pick her up - which means I got to pick Beckett up early too.  We got home at 3:00 - and got to play outside for almost 2 hours!!! It was so much fun.  I was teary eyed most of the time just thinking how precious life can be and how fortunate I am to be here with my two amazing children for atleast one more day....

Lesley ~ you were an amazing woman, friend, roommom, mother, and wife.  I only wish we had finalized plans for you to meet Emerson before you passed.  I am so glad you can finally breathe again without pain.  I know this has been a tough journey for you.  

I passed your daughter in the hall today...your beautiful, intelligent, funny, precious daughter - I smiled, said hi to her, patted her on the shoulder...... it wasn't enough- I apologize - but the sheer sight of her almost brought me to my knees. Knowing she won't have you around in person for the rest of her life made me sick to my stomach.  Who will talk to her about boy troubles and body changes and get her ready for dances and prom and her wedding day. I wanted to grab her in my arms, rock her, hold her, cry with her and tell her how amazing you are and how incredibly sorry I am. 

Everyone says the kids will be fine - everything will be won't be fine.  When will it ever be fine for a daughter, son, and husband to carry on without you here?  I just can't get over this sadness and loss. I am hoping to find some peace the mean time you are in my thoughts and I am planning a date night with my husband...thanks for that - I needed the shove.  

I miss you so much.  Thank you for your kindness to me, my family and for your have taught me so many lessons about what a great mother should be.  Thank you.  God Bless and I can't wait to see you again. 

~xo Libby

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Top 7

Dear Beckett and Emerson,

I am writing this down now in case I forget....God forbid something should happen to me, you need to know about your mother...and what better way than music!?  These are my top 7 favorite songs ever. of all time. so listen to them :) 

7. I Wanna Dance with Somebody ~ Whitney Houston
6. Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
5. Paradise by the Dashboard Lights ~ Meatloaf 
4. Don't Stop Believin' ~ Journey
3. More Than a Feeling ~ Boston
2. Time for Me to Fly ~ REO Speedwagon
1. Pour Some Sugar On Me ~ Def Leppard 

No one is allowed to talk during these songs and if they are played in public we stop what we are doing and sing along and dance like there's no tomorrow. 

*Disclaimer - you must also listen to AC/DC ... preferably Thunderstruck, Back in Black, Dirty Deeds, TNT and Big Balls - I could not pick a favorite from these.  Don't forget about Poison, GNR, 38 Special, Chicago ballads and a little Asia (Heat of the Moment)/ Eddie Money (Take Me Home Tonight/2 Tickets to Paradise) Eric Carmen (Make Me Lose Control) Steve Winwood (The Finer Things/Valerie) and Whitesnake never hurt anyone...ok I'm done. 

<3 ~ Libby

Maybe next year....

St. Patrick's Day! 2012!  WOW!  Seems like just yesterday Beckett turned 3 months old on 3-17-10!  We snapped one of my favorite photos ever on that day. 

Cutest 3 month old ever right?  He had just started giving hugs (wrapping his hands around my neck) ....

I miss how squishy and sweet he was as a baby.  He was definitely a momma's boy!  
Since I had Emerson he has turned into more of a daddy's boy though.  I understand. It's hard for him to see me holding E, feeding her, talking to her etc. when he was IT, my one and only, for 22 months and 5 days. 

So, today we went to Saxon to get Mr. Flinstone fitted for new shoes.  He has some seriously "thick" feet as the saleslady referred to them. Neal called them fat and she said oh no no...they thick.  Ok lady, thick is apparently nicer than fat.  
Anyways, since he just turned 2 he is in a little tiny bit of an ornery stage.  
The lady proceeds to measure his foot on the foot measuring thing and he starts screaming NO!  In his defense she was older, "thicker", white hair and a crazy accent.  But then.....Beckett Adam Routson....PINCHED HER!!!!!!!! OMG-so mortified.  
What a little stinker.  

The worst part is that Neal and I couldn't stop laughing. 
She laughed too and said he had a good grip.
I reminded Beckett that we don't pinch....even on St. Patrick's Day! The lady was wearing green too....
Oh geez.  

We got his new shoes, the very patient saleslady gave him a yellow ballon (which he threw a fit over holding it) and we went about the rest of our day with a nice trip to the park, icecream, and dinner on the deck.  

At the end of the day, B climbed up on my lap and said "hugs mama" and wrapped my arms around him.  How could it not melt my <3?  I love that kid so much.  

27 months into life today.... and I am very thankful for every one of those days with a hug from my Beckett. 

Hope you had a nice St. Patty's and didn't get pinched by any 2 year olds :) 


"hugs mama"


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My Sunshine

My Girl, You are my Sunshine, Somewhere over the Rainbow, What a Wonderful World....

All songs I did not like at all until I had sweet sweet Emerson.  I am not kidding when I tell you looking at her and playing with her and laughing with her is like a dream come true.  She is the happiest baby I have ever seen in my entire life.  She wakes up happy and falls asleep happy. 

I just really don't know HOW this happened!!!! I am the grumpiest person in the whole wide world.  I wake up pissed about something every day...this rubbed off on child number 1.  He wakes up crying every morning, grumpy, doesn't want to talk, just wants to be left alone...just like his mommy.  (I love you Beckett Buddy and I feel your pain)  

But this chick...

IS Miss Sunshine!  Now, I am not a fan of printed t-shirts with sayings on them but when I saw this I just had to get it because that is my Emerson!  I could go on all day about how much I am in love with this baby girl...

I feel like the luckiest mommy ever....I have 1 child who literally is the sunshine in my life and another child who I can relate to in every way shape and form ;)  

Oh and I also had to order this for her room....for obvious reasons. 

Hope you all have a bright sunshiny day :) 


Monday, March 5, 2012

Ya'll gotta try this!

Ok I NEVER cook...and by never I mean I order out Leonardo's, El Paso, Applebee's and Chick-fil-A every week. (Ok I lied - occasionally I make pasta.) BUT I found this recipe and I tried it and holy crap it turned out not only edible - but freaking delicious!!!! Neal loved it so I have to share!  I am making it again today on this snow day :) 

Put the chicken and cream of mushroom soup in the crockpot for 8 hours. (I add S&P, red pepper flakes and Worcestershire).  Then make Wild Mushroom Couscous before serving.  Voila ~ and you're welcome! :)