The Routson Family B & E: We're going on a bear hunt...

You know that cute book? "We're Going On a Bear Hunt"? We love that book at our house. We read it all the time and the kids especially love how the end gets faster and faster and my voice goes up and we act out the scenes. My favorite page is "WE ARE NEVER GOING ON A BEAR HUNT AGAIN!" Then I fall back out of breath.

That is how I feel about the ENT. WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THE ENT AGAIN! Whooosh.
(without Daddy)

First let me just tell you guys that I had no freakin clue that both of my kids had ENT appts. today until they called and left a message that they would see us at 1:00. (Thank God they called.) SUPER MOM!!!!!

We went to the grocery store and got gas before the ENT and both kids fell asleep in the van so we just parked at the ENT and I waited for B to wake up because I knew he was going to have to pee. I was just sitting there praying that he wouldn't pee through his pants before his appt. (*note to self put change of clothes in van.)

So, at 12:40 he woke up saying "I godda go pee!" I was ready. I woke Emerson up and we literally ran into the ENT so Beckett could pee. The receptionist greeted us with "Oh look at him running!" My response "POTTY TRAINING" with the cheesiest smile I could fake.

We waited in the waiting room for 28 minutes while the kids played with every germ infested toy there until we got called back.

Again, Beckett took off running to the back past the nurse and the height/weight station while I am holding Emerson horizontally under one arm, their 2 coats and the diaper bag under the other arm.

We corralled him back and he immediately starts asking for a lollipop - so then the bribery began. Beckett weighed 38 pounds and Emerson weighed 28 pounds. Beckett is 3 foot 5 in. and Emmason is 2 foot 7 in. Big kids!!

We went to our room number 6 to wait for the Dr. I could hear the Dr. on the phone outside of our room at the nurses station and surely he could hear me singing THE BABY ON THE BUS GOES WAA WAA WAA....and me telling Beckett "sit still, don't touch it, no, put it back, not yours, ew yucky, gross, get away from the trashcan" over Emerson's cries because she starts crying when her temperature gets taken. 11 minutes into our wait Beckett yells "I godda go POOOOOP!" which is awesome because the bathroom is in the waiting room. So he takes off running and I grab the diaper bag and assume Emerson into horizontal running position back to the waiting room.

Now, I love the fact that Beckett is potty trained, but today I wish he was still in pull ups and had taken a big crap in that instead of the 3 of us sitting in the bathroom for TEN minutes while he took his sweet precious time going poop. He was loudly telling E and I that he wanted his privacy and he wanted to take his shoes off. I was trying to keep Emerson off the floor and away from the plunger. The longest ten minutes of.my.life.

I feel like we have been at the dr. forever now at this point but when we finally returned to room 6 approximately 15 minutes and 3 hand washes later whaddya know the doc was waiting for us!

He checked both kid's ears and surprise Emerson cried and surprise Beckett's left tube has fallen out and he's got an infection - yay more antibiotics.

We talked about adenoid removal etc. and I mentioned to him that we are pursuing a speech evaluation for Beckett (no easy task) so he tells me that we can go ahead and take care of his hearing test here, now.

Great! So we go to another waiting room and are met by another dr. who will do B's hearing test.
This is where it gets really good. So, the dr. tells me that in order to do B's hearing test I have to hold him on my lap, in a dark quiet room, with the door shut. She asks me if it would be ok to leave Emerson out there with her while I go into the other room with the door shut and the lights off. I know I stared blankly at her for atleast 45 seconds before she said "maam?"

Alright, whatever, we are already here let's do this. I put Emerson in a chair next to the dr.'s desk with goldfish pretzels and juice. Beckett and I go into the dark room, she shuts the door, and tells me over a microphone to hold him still and be very quiet as not to distract him. Right.

Soon little noises start coming out of speakers and stuffed animals start lighting up around the room while I am trying to hold Mr. Wiggles still. The lights come on and she opens the door becauseeeeee
Emerson has dumped out all of her snacks onto the floor and we need to clean up the mess........seriously.

After we cleaned up her snack we went BACK into the room for a few more minutes to try and finish. She ended up turning the lights on and telling me basically we weren't finished but that was as good as it was going to get and she had a pretty good feeling that my "chatty three year old that loves to talk" can hear on both sides. The ear with the tube still in tact might be a little better. (I think she just didn't want to babysit Emerson anymore.)

She goes to get me some more speech information and Emerson tries to follow her new friend out of the room and when I pick her up to keep her in the room it's all over. The face turns red, she stops breathing and huge tears start rolling. Once she stops to take a breath and let out a wail I have to pick Beckett up with my other arm to keep him in the room. The dr. comes back and between holding a combined 66 lbs. of screaming teary mess in my arms I have no freaking clue what she said but I nodded took the papers and left. I don't think she will have children after today. (She is engaged.)

We stopped by the receptionist - I'm sure I look like a body builder trying to carry my kids and I can't wipe the hair out of my eyes and my cheeks are more than a lot of blush red because I am sweating profusely under my coat after walking through 2 offices - to make 2 more appointments and get our LOLLIPOPS (sugar free) which at this point I am shoving them in their mouths to keep them quiet enough to get their coats and hoods on to head out in the rain.

We are home now. They are both sleeping. I am eating an entire box of Special K crackers and WE ARE NEVER GOING TO THE ENT AGAIN!!!!!!!! (without Daddy)